Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Silent No More: A Return to Writing

Over four years ago I stepped down from serving as the pastor of a church. I had been a true “preacher” of the Word. I studied and prepared and spoke with passion and led God's people from the pulpit as a teacher/shepherd. There was not an opportunity to preach that I turned down. And when I resigned, I entered into a time of silence—a time to reflect on my life as a minister, discern my errors, admit my flaws, speak honestly about the condition of my heart, and repent of my own sins.

In this time of introspection, I discovered that much of my prior ministry was colored by a subtle kind of arrogance that flowed from self-confidence and the desire to be proven right. I pray now that my labors were not all rendered useless by this dominant flaw. I shudder to think of the damage that my pride may have caused. The sins that were for me a personal struggle proved the presence and depth of pride in my heart. Once I brought them into the light, I was able to see how pride touched every dimension of my existence. I am grateful for the assurance of forgiveness I have in Jesus.

But I have also learned something else during this time of silence. I am a preacher. That part of me has not died. Remaining silent has been one of the most difficult tasks to manage, especially as of late. Everything I learn and read and see cries out be brought into the light of God's Word under the skills of godly preacher—explaining, expositing, exhorting, encouraging, exalting—I have trouble holding it in.

I have deep regard for the words of Jeremiah the prophet:

For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long. If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak anymore in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot. (Jer. 20:8b-9, ESV)

I feel this daily. I am blessed in that I am not persecuted as Jeremiah was. I am not under reproach and derision for being a Christian—not to my face, anyway. But I relate to the trouble Jeremiah had with self-imposed silence.

And I have come to the place where I believe the silence can be ended. I am grateful for the recent opportunities I have been given to preach. They have given release for my greatest passion. But I need more opportunity. There's too much getting bottled up on my inside and I'm ready to let it out.

Hence this blog.

I re-ignite it today as a place where I can release “preacher-steam.” I have no hopes or expectations of building a large reader-base. I certainly don't feel I deserve to be heard. But I must speak, and this forum provides the best present opportunity.

May Christ Jesus be honored here at this site by writer and readers alike!


  1. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear this good news! Looking forward to hearing what the Lord has put on your heart, my friend!

  2. Amen brother, will be praying for you!

  3. In "light" of yesterday's message, PBC is indeed blessed in our starry hosts. Shine on!